Americans Becoming Ruder, Less Thoughtful

According to a recent Pew Research Center survey, many Americans say public behavior in the United States has changed for the worse five years after the coronavirus outbreak.
“Nearly half of U.S. adults (47%) say the way people behave in public these days is ruder than before the COVID-19 pandemic,” Pew Research writers Katherine Schaeffer and Beshay Sakla state. “That includes 20% who say behavior today is a lot ruder.”
Yes, there were strong differences among people regarding the state and federal governments’ responses to the pandemic, from vaccine mandates to closed businesses, but they don’t account for the level of rudeness in today’s society.
Blaming it on COVID-19 seems misplaced. We see it more likely shaped by more time spent online rather than socializing with friends and the deepening political divide in America.
In its study of rudeness, Pew says many different behaviors are considered, from how people talk and act in public places, their use of smartphones while sitting with others, taking videos of people without permission, and wearing clothing displaying profanity and sexually suggestive language.
“Around two-thirds of adults or more say that it’s rarely or never acceptable to bring a child into a place that’s typically for adults, such as a bar or upscale restaurant (69%); to visibly display swear words, such as on a T-shirt or sign (66%); or to curse out loud in public (65%),” the Pew writers say.
The finding about not bringing children into a “bar” excludes people living in rural America, where most restaurants are also bars. Families gather for a meal and birthday parties in these settings.
Of  COVID-19’s significant impacts, we see one as some people’s stronger belief that individual rights come before responsibility to and consideration of their fellow citizens.
Too many people live in their own worlds, with behaviors that ignore the impact of their actions. What pleases them matters, not the disruption they cause or the disturbance of someone else’s peace of mind. Blaring music from a golf cart, or on a boat, or in their backyard is not just acceptable, it’s their right.
It is no surprise that Pew’s research shows that younger people are more accepting of behavior their parents or grandparents find crude or rude.
“Age gaps exist on every question, with older adults more likely than younger adults to see each behavior as unacceptable,” Schaeffer and Sakla write. “For example, 89% of adults 65 and older say it is rarely or never acceptable to curse out loud in public, but only 38% of adults under 30 say the same.”
“There is a similar gap on the acceptability of visibly displaying swear words, such as on a T-shirt or sign. Adults 65 and older are about twice as likely as those under 30 to say this is rarely or never acceptable (86% vs. 42%),” they write.
For some, online behavior gives license to be rude and angry with their in-person behavior. It becomes an unconscious and thoughtless way of interacting with others in public.
“The internet has revolutionized the way we interact,” Samuel T. Wilkinson, an Associate Professor of Psychiatry at Yale University, writes in Psychology Today. And not always for the better.
 “Virtual communication has contributed to a drastic decline in civic dialogue. People routinely say things to others on the internet that they wouldn’t dare say in person,” he writes. Yet, we believe this online behavior has spilled over into the real world. They now don’t think twice about what they say publicly.
Wilkinson writes that our unconscious awareness of public perception and judgment will control behavior. We see weakness in this argument.
“Whether we are aware of it or not, we all strategically maintain our reputation, putting forward our best behavior when we are being observed,” Wilkinson writes. But is this true when a person feels no consequences for his or her behavior?
There is also a familiarity factor. When people go to the same places regularly where they hang out with the same people in their “corner” of the public space, they don’t feel constrained by the general public perception of their behavior. People at home in this setting. They aren’t out to prove anything to anyone about how civil and polite they can be.
Rudeness is a close relative of intolerance and, at times, a cousin of ignorance. When we think another person’s beliefs, political party, or lifestyle is unacceptable to our own way of viewing the world, it is acceptable to treat them poorly.
“The consequences associated with a behavior help determine whether or not that behavior will be repeated,” an advice piece from Carnegie Melon University says. If rudeness is not curtailed or addressed consistently, it is likely to continue, it says.
But who is there to hold people who behave rudely accountable?
At one time, when a community was more closely knit, there were constraints on individual behavior. But today we live in communities fractured by the internet and television. We’ve stopped gathering in social and recreational clubs through which we met and cooperated with people whose beliefs were different from ours.
“What would happen if there were no consequences — and those who broke rules and social norms got away with everything? What message would we be sending to the wrongdoer, our children, and society at large?” Frank Sonnenberg, an author and an advocate for moral character and personal responsibility, writes.
We fear we are finding out. Society is becoming ruder, more intolerant, and less civil. These actions raise stress, increase anger, and lead to more violence.  How far they will push us over the edge is yet to be experienced. Last July,  a YouGov poll found that 67% of Americans think political violence is more likely to occur. That percentage grows by the day.